Being in a relationship with someone who has ADHD may have a positive or negative ADHD effect on marriage. Couples who are oblivious to the impact of ADHD in a relationship would choose approaches that are not helpful to solve marriage problems.
Nowadays, thousands of adults with ADHD battle symptoms, such as distractibility, inattention, impulsivity, and procrastination which severely affect their partners that result in an unhappy relationship. Couples need to know and understand the underlying issues caused by ADHD and adopt strategies that will help them build happier and healthier relationships.
ADHD Effect on Marriage
Causes of ADHD in Adults
In the UK, around 4% to 5% adults have ADHD. However, only some get diagnosed or treated. An adult who has ADHD had the condition since he or she was a child, some may have outgrown it, but about 60% still have ADHD when they become an adult.
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) equally affects men and woman. The condition is hereditary and developed from life-experience risk factors. It is a neurochemical and neuroanatomical disorder where various brain chemicals are not present in the right places at the right amount. Thus, individuals with ADHD are inclined to have difficulties in developing skills that involve self-control and decision-making.
Strategies to Have a Healthy ADHD Marriage
An adult that has an ADHD may have a hard time focusing, following directions, completing a task on time, controlling anger, and remembering information, which can cause problems in parts of his or her life. The condition may affect an adult’s work or relationship. Getting the right treatment can help an individual with ADHD develop personal strengths and find success.
Develop Good Communication With Your Partner
Problems regarding time management are one of the common causes of day-to-day arguments to couples where one or both members have ADHD. People with ADHD quickly lose track of time. They tend to procrastinate and underestimate the time to do a task. Having poor communication and lack of follow-through worsen the situation.
Communicating better helps improve any relationship. There are effective communication-building strategies that couples who have a partner with ADHD can adapt.
- By only asking your partner “What do you mean?” will help avoid misunderstandings.
- Speak in short sentences and ask your ADHD partner to repeat what he or she said will help improve communication.
- Creating a list of things that need to be done will also be helpful especially when doing household chores.
Have a Balanced Relationship
Couples need to learn to work together as a team. The pair is required to participate fully in the partnership to have a mutually fulfilling relationship. Having a healthy relationship means both individual needs to compromise and find ways to support each other.
Dividing the household chores and meeting once a week to talk about issues and how to solve them are ways that could help a relationship become better.
Be Committed to the Relationship
The symptoms of ADHD such as impulsiveness and boredom can damage a relationship. Couples need to be committed to the institution of marriage for their relationship to work. They have to be dedicated to their marriage to help them get through any problem.
Don’t Dwell on Problems
Sometimes when there is a disagreement, couples tend to blame the other person for the problems in the relationship. Couples need to learn to forgive and forget and talk to each other respectfully. In this way, couples will know how to accept his or her partner and forgive his or her shortcomings
Ask for Professional Help
Little problems get unresolved to married couples when one or more partners have ADHD. Troubled couples tend to wait too long to ask for professional advice about problems regarding their marriage.
At the early stage of problems, couples should seek professional help from a licensed marriage and family therapist to resolve conflicts and learn how to better communicate with each other.
Couples who are experiencing problems due to ADHD, need to acknowledge the fact that the symptoms of the condition are affecting their relationship. They need to explore treatment options and find ways to manage the symptoms to have a healthy ADHD marriage.