If you are told your ADHD assessment would benefit from a questionnaire completed by your mum, your older brother or someone else who knew you growing up, you are not being doubted. A collateral history (an account from someone who has known you a long time) is a standard, recommended part of good adult ADHD practice, and there is a simple reason for it: ADHD begins in childhood, and other people often remember your childhood differently, and sometimes more clearly, than you do. This short guide explains who can be an informant, what they are asked, and (importantly) what happens if there is no one you can ask.
Key takeaways
- ADHD begins in childhood, so an account from someone who knew you before the age of twelve strengthens the evidence.
- Informants complete a short questionnaire; they are not shown your answers, your history or your report.
- If no informant is available, school reports, structured recall and a partner’s account fill the gap.
Why childhood evidence matters so much
A diagnosis of ADHD requires more than present-day symptoms. Under the DSM-5 criteria used in a DIVA-5 structured interview, several symptoms must have been present before the age of twelve, because ADHD is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition, not something acquired in adulthood. Your own memories carry real weight here, but they have known limits: adults are poor witnesses to their own early childhood, and people who spent decades masking their symptoms often genuinely cannot see what was visible to everyone around them. Someone who watched you grow up fills exactly that gap, which is why NICE-aligned assessment practice values informant history alongside your own account.
Who can be an informant
The ideal informant knew you well before the age of twelve, typically a parent, but an older sibling, aunt, uncle, grandparent or even a childhood family friend can all serve. For your adult life, a partner, close friend or housemate can add a second kind of collateral: what your symptoms look like from the outside now. Neither needs any knowledge of ADHD; they are asked about behaviour, not diagnoses.
What they are asked
Usually a short informant questionnaire (sometimes a brief conversation) covering the same ground as the main interview from another angle: was the child they remember restless, dreamy, disorganised, impulsive; did they lose things, drift off in class, struggle with waiting; what did teachers say. It typically takes fifteen to twenty minutes to complete, there are no trick questions, and honest, unpolished answers are precisely what helps: an informant who says “I don’t remember” where they don’t is being more useful than one who fills every box. If they need reassurance about what it is for, our overview of what happens in an ADHD assessment is a good page to send them.
How to ask without it becoming a big conversation
For many people the hardest part is not the questionnaire; it is raising the subject with a parent at all. A few things that make the ask easier:
- Keep the request practical. “I’m having an assessment and they ask for a parent’s memories of me as a child. It’s a short questionnaire, would you fill it in?” lands better than opening a debate about diagnosis.
- Expect, and forgive, a defensive first reaction. Some parents hear “you missed this” inside the request. It can help to say plainly that adult ADHD simply was not looked for in those days, especially in girls and women, and that nobody is being blamed for not spotting what clinicians routinely missed.
- Honest beats flattering. Tell them the useful answers are the unvarnished ones; a questionnaire full of “she was a lovely child” helps no one.
- You decide how involved they are. Completing a questionnaire does not entitle anyone to your diagnosis, your report or your decisions afterwards.
Your privacy in the process
A point that reassures many people: information flows from your informant, not to them. Your informant is asked about your childhood behaviour; they are not shown your answers, your clinical history or your report. What you share afterwards (including whether you share the outcome at all) remains entirely your choice, within the same confidentiality that covers the whole assessment.
What a partner’s account adds
Childhood informants get most of the attention, but adult collateral (usually a partner, sometimes a close friend or housemate) earns its place for a different reason. You have lived inside your own head your whole life; your baseline feels normal to you, because it is the only baseline you have ever had. A partner sees the things habituation hides from you: how often instructions evaporate between rooms, what the relationship actually absorbs in reminders and recovered plans, how different you are in the hyperfocus hours versus the scattered ones. Partners also witness something clinically useful that parents rarely do, your unmasked adult self at home, which for many adults is the least performed and most symptomatic version of them anywhere. None of this outweighs your own account; it rounds it out from an angle you cannot reach yourself.
If there is no one to ask
This is common, and it does not prevent a diagnosis. Parents may no longer be living, may be estranged, or may be the last people you want involved in your healthcare, all of which your Consultant Psychiatrist has encountered many times. The assessment simply leans on other evidence:
- School reports and childhood paperwork, which act as a written informant, our guide to preparing for an ADHD assessment covers what to hunt down.
- Your own structured recall, which the DIVA-5 interview is specifically designed to prompt.
- Adult-life collateral from a partner or long-standing friend, where available.
A skilled assessor weighs all of it together. What matters is the overall pattern of evidence, not any single source, so an adult ADHD assessment with a Consultant Psychiatrist remains every bit as rigorous without a parent’s input; nobody is turned away for lacking one.
Frequently asked questions
Does my informant have to attend the assessment? No. Questionnaires are usually completed beforehand in their own time, and any follow-up is arranged separately. They are never put on the spot in your appointment.
What if my parent remembers my childhood differently from me? Disagreement is information, not a problem: masking, family dynamics and time all shape memory, and your Consultant Psychiatrist is experienced at weighing differing accounts.
Can my partner be my only informant? Yes, if no childhood informant is available. A partner’s account of your adult symptoms, combined with school records and your own history, is a perfectly workable evidence base.
How far in advance should I ask my informant? As soon as your assessment is booked, a week or two of margin means nobody is completing a questionnaire under deadline pressure the night before, and gives older relatives time to dig out any school reports or paperwork they may still be keeping. Our preparation checklist folds this into the week-before timeline.
Book an Adult ADHD Assessment
With or without an informant, a rigorous assessment is available when you are ready. Our GMC-registered Consultant Psychiatrists provide comprehensive adult ADHD assessments following DSM-5 criteria and NICE guidelines, with a full diagnostic report and a personalised treatment plan. Appointments are usually available within the same week: from £695 online anywhere in the UK, or from £1,095 in person at our London and Manchester clinics.
Book an Adult ADHD Assessment online today, or call our team on 0203 966 1551 and we will help you choose the right option for you.
